SF Cuties

Craiglist "dating"

2011-11-19T20:16:00.001-08:00

I just discovered this awesome video, and could help cracking up.

Then it hit me: Why is this so funny to us? Because it is true.
We know many couples that met thru online dating on eHarmony or similar sites.

And guess what... some of those same couples, after a while, they do start looking for playmates, including on craiglist.

Begun, the Swing Wars have... on male bi-sexuality

2011-03-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

It seems life the Lifestyle / Sex-is-fun / Swingercast world is caught up in a drama storm the likes of which we have seldom seen.

The story thus far...

2011-02-27: "Live on the Swingset" does a joined podcast with Kidder Kaper from "Sex is Fun", recorded at Desire. After a few alcoholic beverages, the discussion hits on the good old "third rail of swinging" : male bisexuality in the lifestyle. Some offhand remarks are made towards John from "Swingercast".

2011-02-28: Some discussion goes on between Kidder's and John's twitter stream. It's bit hard to follow, since it jumps between various parties, many of whom have a "private feed".

2011-02-28: Ginger and the professor want everybody to get along:

We believe that allowing everyone their space for their own views as well as their own ways in which to handle how and when they express them is simply respecting them as human.

2011-03-02: Swapfu's view:

The reason male bisexuality is discouraged in the lifestyle is to empower women. ... Men playing other men breaks the deal. By doing so, men would be taking back some of the control they yielded to their partners. It messes with the dynamic because women would no longer be the gate keepers of the men's sexual activities and thus would feel like they are adding risk to the relationship.

2011-03-11: Kidder Kaper's remarks (on Facebook):

When this controversy first began between SC and SiF it was because Laura Rad had said that swing clubs who don't allow bi-men to play while at the same time encouraging bi-female play was a sexist double standard. She called this attitude "bigoted" which sparked a short debate between us and John and in that debate, he refused to admit that swing clubs are by and large anti male-bisexuality. So I contacted clubs listed in NASCA and found that most had written rules against male bisexual activity, and in my phone calls I heard one of the owners say, "Nobody wants to see that."

Our take

All the people listed here have been valuable contributors to the community.
Fighting amongst ourselves is detrimental to the community as a whole.
Yes, Bi males get the short end of the stick in the swinger community.
Yes, many (mostly males) in the swinging community are still very homophobic.
Yes, clubs should give bi males the same respect as bi females.
No, I don't think that Desire should allow male-male couples. There is a real danger of abuse there. I am not sure if there is a good solution for this problem.
Yes, Kidder should apologize for the personal attack on John. Regardless of his message, the "form" was inappropriate, and not beneficial to the conversation.

There you go. We've put on our asbestos lingerie, so flame away...

Scientists discover why redheads are sluttier

2010-12-17T17:13:00.000-08:00

British scientists noted up to 14 "encounters" per day, for some red-haired females.
Told you so!

Math with the muppets. Also: Group sex.

2010-10-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

Video says it all.

Natural Born Swinger?

2010-10-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

As a kid, it was normal to go swimming in the nude.

It was OK to walk through the house naked coming from the shower.

It was also perfectly normal for grownups to have sleepovers at their friends. Just bring enough sleeping bags, and toss all the kids in one bedroom when it's their bedtime, and everything works out perfectly.

It was normal that ads on prime-time TV or in the streets show nudity, especially if the product was supposed to be used when nude (lingerie, shampoos,...). That just makes sense, doesn't it?

As an adult, nobody thought it weird to go to saunas or "day spa's", where everybody walks around nude most of the day. If you meet somebody from the office in the shower, you just say "hi", like you were meeting them on the bus.

In politics, Europeans are nearly impossible to provoke using the personal life of their leaders.

When it was shown that the king of Belgium has an illegitimate daughter, some people snickered. a few cheap jokes were created but nobody got excited.

When french president Mitterrand died, his mistress and their daughter also attended the (nationally broadcasted) funeral. Nobody protested. Everybody understands that power has its own sex-appeal.

These are not stand-alone, extreme anecdotes, but examples how a more "sexually liberated", "no nonsense" way of thinking runs through the culture. A perfect example of that way of thinking is the term "Ménage à trois" : it doesn't really mean "threesome" but "household of three", where all the persons involved have equal standing, and take their share of the responsibilities of running a home. Any sexual component is -almost- an afterthought.

As a swinger in the US, I have gotten used to the elaborate setups for visiting swing clubs. Secret addresses, pre-meets, special guest-lists, password. Some have protocols that look you are meeting with a mole inside a Columbian drug cartel.This is loads of fun, and adds to the naughty "secret agent" theme. I'm used to swingclubs that advertise in clear, neon-lit text. In 4 languages.

Others have noticed this too:

When compared to other swingers from around the globe, European swingers are considered as the most open to this lifestyle. This is evident through its several sex clubs and nude beaches. If you are a swinger from this continent, you will be able to find other swinging individuals when you visit the aforementioned places.

John Lewis writes:

... European swingers are least interested in swinger games. They jump onto swinger activities as soon as they develop a comfort level with other swingers. They don’t believe in wearing explicit attires to woe the swinger mates. The European parties are simple yet high on eroticism scale.

None of this means or claims that Europeans are "better" at swinging (if such a scale even exists), or that they have a higher amount of confidence (I was the most shy person in the room a couple of times). All this means is that the cultural background of a person can show up in and out of the bedroom behavior in unexpected ways.

I cuddle in public. I don't freak out about bi men. I have a large "Lifestyle Lounge" bumper sticker on my car. I talk about sex, politics and religion at the dinner table. But I don't bite (unless you ask me to).

I didn't choose to be a swinger. I can't help it. I was born that way.

(This post was first released on the "Life on the swingset" blog.)

Ringtone update: Swingtown, Mr's. Robinson

2010-06-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

Fresh update for the ringtone project:

We added:

Mrs. Robinson
Swingtown

Grab them while they're fresh!

(Cooper, from the fairly awesome "Life on the Swingset" blog put me up to this)

Got another favorite? Let me know in the comments.

Ultimate workout tool for women

2010-05-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

Girls, if you want to take your skills to the next level, there is a specialized workout tool for you:

Yes, believe it or not, you can order it here!

After that, we can work on the legs....

Swingers targetted in Texas

2010-03-17T12:47:00.000-07:00

Report from Amarillo, Texas. Religious fanatics harassing any business they don't like.

Lesson to learn here:
Next "play date" night, add something extra to your "toy bag".

I think this is ideal:

A cutesy pepper-spray dispenser!

Ooops... They found out...

2010-02-13T16:06:00.000-08:00

Guess the surveillance camera was on after all...

Picture courtesy Failblog

New Medication against Stress

2010-01-03T19:17:00.001-08:00

Scientists just discovered a totally new medication against stress:

Let me know if you tried it.

"Swinger" Ringtones : Get them while they're hot!

2009-12-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

After seeing a posting from the incredibly nice people at Swingercast, I got the idea of creating some appropriate ring-tonesbased upon well-known "Lifestyle theme songs".

The first batch is ready to be installed on your phone!

Download here

Why?

Imagine being able to hear at a "glance" what kind of call you are receiving.
You can decide whether or not to take a call based on what situation you are in, without needing to check the screen.
A vanilla probably won't recognize these
I currently have my default ring-tone set to "Swingercast", and am awaiting to see how long it takes for anybody to recognize it :)

If there are samples that you would like to see added, or if you need a special format for your particular phone, let me know in the comments and I will do my best to add them.

Note that every type of phone is different, and that for getting the transferred to you phone, the instructions will be different:

Instructions for installing on your iPhone:

Download the .m4r file to your desktop
Double-click it
Sync your phone
Done.

Instructions for installing on any other phone:

Read the manual that came with it.
Try it an hope for the best
If that doesn't work, bribe/lure a friendly geek to do it for you.

Enjoy!

Guess what kind of party!

2009-09-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

Watch this educational video:

And try to guess what they are talking about. Parts have been bleeped to make it harder.

Got it? Here's the correct answer. What did you think?

Great party!

2009-08-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

This happened to us last weekend! And we don't even own a cat!

Sometimes, technology is just awesome!

2009-08-05T13:16:00.000-07:00

Ever found yourself while getting ready to host or visit a party, to be out of "swinger supplies"?

Even though our "consumption rate" of condoms and lube remains fairly static on average, it seems that the "refill" purchase is always put of the last possible moment.

No more! I already used the "Amazon Subscribe and Save" system for our coffee (they sell Senseo coffee cheaper than the local store!) and snooped around for kinky supplies.

Sure enough, you can sign up for an automated monthly delivery of "Durex", "Trojan", "Astroglide", or most other things that get your rocks off on a scheduled basis.

This is what the internet was made for!

Holiday Pictures: Clear Communication

2009-07-22T08:55:00.000-07:00

During our visit to Belgium, we took the kids (and parents) for a stay in a nice romantic hotel in the historical center of Brussels.

This is what we found next door:

Yep. A honest to god swingers club.

Things of note:

The prime real estate location, in one of the most "touristy" places in Europe.
The clear markings. There is no doubt that this is a swingers club (and not the dancing kind either), in full few of the public. Nobody seems to mind or care.
The "hours of operation" on the door show that this a 7/7 operation.

In the US, most clubs I have seen have "speakeasy" feeling of hidden locations and schedules, and are usually frowned upon visiting. It's refreshing to see that there are other points of view out there.

"Conservatives" watch more porn?

2009-07-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

The moderately awesome "Bigger Love" blog points out:

A Harvard study has found that the reddest state in the nation, the state that many consider to be the most conservative, and one that constantly reminds everyone of it’s “family values” (like no one else has any but them) is also the largest consumer of subscription online pornography in the nation. That’s right: Utah.
In fact, 8 of the top 10 states are “Red States”, predominantly Conservative Republican states with “conservative Christian values”. The study concludes that those states that consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption.

Towards the "uninitiated" this may seem like a contradiction or a funny coincidence.

However, think about this:
I was walking down the streets of New Orleans, during NiN09, with a couple of male friends. Every so often, somebody would try to talk us into visiting a strip club, by explaining what all wonders of "naked hotness" would await us inside.

I told him: "There is nothing in there to see that is hotter than what I did last night, and will probably do tonight. For free. Have a nice evening."

It seems there _is_ such a thing as "too hot" !

2009-06-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

I never thought a club could be "too hot" until I heard about this:

Naked patrons flee fire at Montreal swingers club
Updated: Fri Jun. 19 2009 11:44:26 The Canadian Press

MONTREAL — Several people wrapped in only bedsheets and towels were forced to flee a fire Friday at a Montreal swingers' club.

Firefighters climbed ladders and smashed windows to rescue five people, including patrons and club employees, who were trapped on the building's second floor.

Five others escaped on their own and were standing outside when firefighters arrived shortly after 6:30 a.m., a spokesman for the city's fire department said.

The appearance of the barely dressed victims surprised neighbours on the street.

"They had sheets on them but they didn't have a lot of clothes on coming down (the ladder)," said fire department spokesman Gilles Ducharme.

"I don't know how many of them were not dressed, but there were a few of them -- maybe five or six -- that had only sheets on them."

The clients and staff members were given shelter on a fire department bus while 60 firefighters took an hour to bring the basement blaze under control.

Ducharme said ambulance attendants treated six people at the scene for minor smoke inhalation.

The swingers club has several rooms on the second floor and a sauna in the basement, an area that sustained around $75,000 in damage, Ducharme said.

The fire department is investigating.

"It seems accidental," he said. "It probably (started in) the heating system of the sauna."

Thoughts on "Temptation"....

2009-05-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

Don't know why, but I found this very appropriate somehow....

How to shave your balls: A lesson from Gillette

2009-05-31T10:46:00.001-07:00

Yes, this is for real:

My thoughts:
On the bright side, the extra grooming can only help increase the average sexiness of the nation.
On the other side, it gets harder to spot the "players" in the locker room...

What do you think?

Unicorn tells all!

2009-05-07T13:20:00.000-07:00

Bless the magical unicorns who have integrity and high standards for themselves and for their Lifestyle couples.

I just returned home from a two day business trip. I travel on business regularly. I'm one of those "I bring home the bacon...fry it up in the pan...but I'll neva' eva let you forget...that you're the maaaan..cause I'm a woooman..w_o_m_a_n! :-)

Sorry-I digressed!

This past business trip I experienced a Lifestyle moment that made me smile and cry at the same time and it was all because of a Magical Unicorn.

Here's some background to this story: Mr SFCuties and I met a newbie Unicorn through mutual LL friends a few months ago. She's energetic, sweet, mature, intelligent, all wrapped up with a warm heart & smile.

She runs regularly with the same LL friends as we do so we've had an opportunity to play together at Twist(San Fran LS Club).

Last month we invited her to our house for a hot tubbing evening. We'd just had the hot tub installed a few days prior and this was going to be the first time we'd invited a lifestyle lover(s) into our home.

The evening with the Unicorn was a BLAST! We couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable night together! (I'll save those details for another blog entry :-) )

The evening was so HOT that we decided to go back for seconds-hoping the Unicorn would bless us with another night. The stars aligned and we had a follow up Hot Tub session which turned into another sex fest adventure between the 3 of us...HOT HOT HOT-Caliente HOT!

This past week while traveling out of state, I get this text message on my phone from the Magical Unicorn. She called Mr. SFCuties earlier in the day to schedule a time to pick up her computer he was fixing for her(You know what they say, Geeks make better lovers :-) )

She was hoping to drop by the house around 6:30 that evening if it would fit in our schedules. Mr SFCuties explained it would be no problem if she dropped by the house but it would have to be a "vanilla" visit because Mrs SFCuties was traveling. He then went onto remind her of our "Lifestyle Couple" rules and that we only play together because its more enjoyable to watch the love making between the 3-(+)4 of us.

The Magical Unicorn texted me on how happy & refreshing it was to meet a loving & honest couple because too many times, married men try to take advantage of the situation without a "hall pass" from their beloved wife.

I was shocked to hear so many lifestyle couples actually committed adultery...and that's how I see it, Sex without permission from your partner is cheating!

She found Mr SFCuties adorable because of his "strict" rules" & caring nature. This is where I started to cry because at that moment, I realized once again-I have the world's greatest man and how wonderful it is to be able to travel without ever worrying he may cheat and destroy our beautiful world together. I LOVE being married to Mr SFCuties!

I believe in rewarding good behavior so we're heading to a "get your groove" on 70's party this weekend :-)

Our Magical Unicorn went onto say, she would be honored to play with us again because of the bond and trust we have as a couple and with her.

A BIG HUG to all of you upstanding Magical Unicorns and SHAME on you cheating couples! (waving the index finger)

Vanilla FAIL!

2009-04-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

If you thought sex in the lifestyle was complicated....

Call us!

2009-03-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

I just found a cool and free way for people to call us or to leave us a voicemail message!

Click the button to initiate a free phone call. You can even make it anonymous, if you so desire.
Let us know what you think!

We're baaaaaaack! - What I learned at Desire.

2009-01-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

So, the holidays have come and gone. Honeymoon travel is done for now (honeymoon is never over :) ).

And yes, Desire was a lot of fun.

Here's what we learned at Desire: (in no particular order)

It's nearly impossible to judge somebody's age accurately. Even when seeing them naked.
Age doesn't really matter.
It is possible to get "pole burn" if you are not very careful
Everybody plays. From fashion models, to firemen to russian mobsters.
Ciallis really works
It's perfectly OK to grope your (potential) future employer's wife during a job interview
Mexicans freak out when they see a guy dressed as a playboy bunny
Even experienced swingers get confused when talking to a pair of couples on a dinner date. "No, these two are from Canada, we are from California".
Champagne body-shots are awesome!
Some republicans do swing. Pretty well actually.
No woman, no matter how hot, can resist groping a guy in a skirt.
Some clitorial piercings are like "Guitar Hero": Wiggle the wammy bar just right and you hear an awesome noise
Rubbing bodies together while glistering with massage oil is hot
Fake boobies, when well done, can feel like the real thing
Fake boobies, when done badly, can look scary
Some of those glowing neon bracelets can double as a fancy cock-ring
We really need to put name and address labels on our toys

What about you? Got any life lessons to add?

Aching...

2008-12-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

Cold... stress... never have been so aching for a holiday!

Did I mention that it will also be our honeymoon?

Desire here we come! 5 days and counting!

Ok, you caught me...

2008-11-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

"I like your bumperer sticker" he said to me as he leaned over to pick up his brief case. I laughed and replied "Which one, the Belgian bumper sticker?" Assuming he meant the humor in my husband's taste of signage on his car.

The man laughed quietly while standing next to me, as he looked me directly in the eyes and says "No, the other one...the LL sticker next to the Belgian sticker!"

I was shocked and a bit embarrassed. I smiled and quickly searched for a witty response that wouldn't give our secret lifestyle away. Heck, who knows, maybe man likes Yin and Yang signs with LL in the middle.

I quickly blurt out "Yeah, that's my husbands car, he likes the "Loven Life" sign.

The man continues to smile and says "my wife and I use to belong to the Lifestyle Lounge. We're on break...My name is Dennis"

My head started to race as my cheeks began to flush red.

He reached his hand out towards me to shake my hand, still smiling and then said..."it's nice meeting you, I hope to see you again."

I giggled like a school girl.

He walked over to his car where his colleague is waiting, looks back at me one last time, smiling as he climbed inside. In that moment, I felt like we were part of some secret club and had one of those fun moments that only he and I understood.

In some magical way, it reminded me of being a kid doing the secret handshake with a long time friend.

My husband returned home from taking his walk as "Denis" drove away. I asked how his walk was and then said..."You won't believe what just happened to me.....!!!"

Recooperating from Halloween

2008-11-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

I'm chilling out on Sunday evening after a long and busy weekend in Vegas with Mr. SFCuties. Here's the recap...

Last Halloween was the first time my husband and I experienced a 3 some. Sort of like dipping our toe in the water to check the temperature before jumping in with both feet. I guess you can say, we lost our virginity to "swinging" last year. And here we are a year later, enjoying the Lifestyle and a new level of intimacy its brought into our lives.

This Halloween was spent down in Vegas. Sin City...Where ALL the freaks come out at night! We spent two HOT nights in Vegas with very little sleep. We're running on fumes tonight, almost ready for bed and its only 9pm.

We met some great couples from the Purrrrfect Halloween Party in Vegas. Iman (Hostess) put together a great Halloween Party at the Cathouse in the Luxor. She's a sexy and very hardworking lady. There were LOTS of people at the Cathouse dressed up in SEXY costumes..YUMMY!

My Hubby ended up on the bathroom floor in the hotel room with a Playboy bunny (LOL). That's a story in itself we'll save for later :-)

Saturday night, we decided to carry on the evening at the "Night After" Halloween Party over at the Couples Oasis Swing Club. There were LOTS of sexy people dressed up in great costumes. My favorite costume was a guy dressed up like Anna Nicole Smith with big boobs and a blond wig. I felt compelled to placing my lipmarks on his big chested area with bright colored lipstick :-)

That man was GREAT at Pole Dancing!! (RTFL-LMAO). There were people laughing, dancing, kissing, and having a great time together. It felt like we'd known these people for a long time. These are the types of clubs its easy to just relax and enjoy Life. **Check out Couples Oasis in Vegas sometime

We ended up in the hot tub with 3-4 couples, enjoying the moment, and watching our little rubber ducky float in between the meshing bodies. (By the way, if anyone locates the duck, give us a call, he's gone MIA!)

The two nights of Sincity was a perfect amount of time to be naughty and then come home to rest, preparing for our upcoming week of "vanilla life at work".

HugZ & KisseZ,
Mrs. SFCuties

Traveling on Business

2008-10-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

My flight took off at 7am today. Which meant I needed to be at the airport really EARLY in the morning! When the alarm went off, I turned over and found my husband cuddled up in a ball under the warm blankets. He looked so cute and innocent (HA!). It was early in the morning, I couldn't see the first light of day. I really didn't want to leave him.

Three nights away from him seemed so long. I lay in bed, hesitating to leave his side. I already missed him and I hadn't left yet. I needed to get going, the taxi would be picking me up at 5:30am.

As I finished getting ready, I came back into our room, kissed him good-bye, and played with his hair a bit. He looked up at me and whispered "I love you". God I love this man with all of my heart.

Its during these moments, that I remember to say "thank you for coming into my life"

I gently kissed his lips, tucked him under the covers again, and walked out of our bedroom, smiling. I know I have the world's greatest man (for me :-)...and being a "swinging" couple, he and I don't ever worry about infidelity or not trusting one another.

It's a FANTASTIC feeling of contentment and trust in one another. I think I've discovered how so many LL married couples have stayed HAPPILY married for several decades.

I'm looking forward to being married to Mr.SFCuties for many decades with lots of excitement and loving times...and a few challenges here & there ;-)

Mrs. SFCuties

Blooper #4

2008-09-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

Setting: A play party at somebodies house. Lotsa couples everywhere.

Mrs. SFCUTIES and Mr. [Censored] jump into the shower to clean up. I (Mr. SFCUTIES) sneak in after them. Everything goes well until the MRS decides she needs soap.

"Hey! There's a shiny box fixed to the wall! It has a button!"

I had already seen that it was not a soap dispenser, since that was on my side of the shower. Half-way through my yelling of "Don't touch that", the disinfectant sprayer system (that just got activated) fires... Hitting everybody in general and me in the face.

Me: "Uuurghh".
Mrs: "Oh sorry honey, let me spray it off".
And the Mrs uses the shower head to spray my face.
Unfortunately, in the cramped shower Mr. [Censored]'s butt had changed the water temperature valve from "warm & cosy" to "melt the skin of your body"-hot.

Needless to say, I left the shower in a less than sexy way.

Moral of the story:
There are some buttons that shouldn't be pushed.

Anybody else have any bloopers to share?